Skinny Genes

Sometimes I fake that I hate you and make up, So you wind up next to me.
Oh darn, I think that backfired D;

Say Something Sweet To Your Sweetheart

Here's an old song called Say Something Sweet To Your Sweetheart by The Inkspots. I imagine this is the type of song they would sing and play at those old piano bars where people dine in candlelight with their sweethearts.

"Say something sweet to your sweetheart
(Your sugar will be sweeter depends on how you treat her)
Tell her how much you care
(Take her in your arms and while you're thrilling to her charms, be sure to)
Say something sentimental, it won't cost a thing
(And before you know it)
You'll find what happiness a gentle word can bring

You can't hide those love words inside you
(Lock 'em up within ya and your love will be agin ya)
And still keep the one you adore
(Forever more)
So say something sweet to your sweetheart
And you'll be sweethearts forever more

Say something sweet to your sweetheart
(Roses are red, Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet, and so are you!)
Tell her how much you care
(Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
He never got any lovin' at all!)
Say something sentimental, it won't cost a thing
(Not a single cent)
You'll find what happiness a gentle word can bring

You can't hide those love words inside you
And still keep the one you adore
So say something sweet to your sweetheart~~~
And you'll be sweethearts forever more~~~
(Sweethearts, you and I)"

So... say something sweet to your sweetheart today. It could be anything! "You smell good." "You have beautiful eyes." "Thank you for the wonderful dinner." "You look really pretty in that dress." Anything at all! It'll brighten his/her day.

You don't want to end up wishing that you had.

P.S. Not sure if I got all the words of the lyrics right, I did the best I could though. Feel free to let me know if you notice anything wrong :]

It's funny...

It's funny how we're sometimes addicted to depression. When we hear a song, when we watch a movie, when we read a book, when we go to a certain place, when a particular image comes to mind...

image source: http://tearintome.blogspot.com

Or is it just me...?

It was real, wasn't it?

You and me... such a long time ago... just a couple of kids. We really loved each other, didn't we?

-Allie Hamilton in The Notebook

image source: http://www.listal.com/movie/the-notebook/pictures

By Myself

An inspiration for singletons, like me. A song called อยู่คนเดียว (By Myself) by เบิร์ด ธงไชย (Bird Thongchai).

"I am by myself in the evening
And I don't see why I would need someone beside me
I am alone with the loneliness
I sit and watch the fading sunset as the sun disappears
I stare off and watch as the moon rises
When it's late like this, the best friend that I have is my side pillow
I'll be lonely like a person who has let go of everything
I've been like this for so long that I'm used to it

Those that don't know keep asking why I don't look for someone
One person
who understands
and whose love is real
Everything that has occurred is too much
Everyone
looks kind
looks sincere
Well, I'm willing to meet them
But, no no..no no no..

It's because when I love, my love is real
It becomes unbearable when you break up with me
I'll love someone a lot, so then I end up regretting it
It pains my heart, even telling someone doesn't help
Because I choose to love, I cause my own pain
So I'll continue to be someone who doesn't have a lover
I'd find someone else instead, but I'm scared it will just be a repeat
Because nowadays people are cruel
So they go out with each other as if its all just fun and games
So I'm always getting hurt
So I have to be by myself

Those that don't know keep asking why I don't look for someone
One person
who understands
and whose love is real
Everything that has occurred is too much
Everyone
looks kind
looks sincere
Well, I'm willing to meet them
But, no no..no no no..

It's because when I love, my love is real
It becomes unbearable when you break up with me
I'll love someone a lot, so then I end up regretting it
It pains my heart, even telling someone doesn't help
Because I choose to love, I cause my own pain
So I'll continue to be someone who doesn't have someone to love
I'd find someone else instead, but I'm scared it will just be a repeat
Because nowadays people are cruel
So they go out with each other as if its just all fun and games
So I'm always getting hurt
So I have to be by myself

It's because when I love, my love is real
It becomes unbearable when you break up with me
I'll love someone a lot, so then I end up regretting it
It pains my heart, even telling someone doesn't help
Because I choose to love, I cause my own pain
So I'll continue to be someone who doesn't have someone to love

I'd find someone else instead, but I'm scared it will just be a repeat
Because nowadays people are cruel
So they go out with each other as if its just all fun and games
So I'm always getting hurt
So I have to be by myself"

Ahhh... What a lie. As much as I wish I enjoyed being a singleton, I miss being with someone..

Here's a rose, I missed you.

It was once again the time of the week that I could see my deariest. I am referring to Jack, my boyfriend at the time.

He was so eager to see me because he had been dying to tell me something...

"The other day I saw a little family reunion going on at the train station. It looked like the mother had just returned from a trip. She walked towards her husband and son, who was holding a single rose in his hand. When she reached them, she embraced her little 'un tightly and kissed him. Then, he proudly presented her with the rose," he said. "One day, after one of your travels, Jack Jr. and I will welcome your return with a single rose as well."

image source: http://aviewto.blogspot.com/

I remember the warmth that filled my heart upon listening to his recount. I was so sure then that we were going to be married, that were going to be that happy family picture he had just painted.

image source: http://aviewto.blogspot.com/

image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/yvetteinufio/

Now, I'm tearing up as I recall how much he had loved me, and how excited he was in starting a family with me. The look in his eyes as he told me such a sweet little story...

image source: http://designismine.blogspot.com/

image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/fluesch/

image source: http://the-violetgirl.blogspot.com/

image source: http://blackbirdandshell.blogspot.com/

Sometimes, it's still hard to swallow how things have changed so drastically.

image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/45375656@N00/

Tribute to Unforgettable Crying Scenes

Here are two of my absolute top favourite romantic comedies.

Perhaps I should warn you: SPOILER ALERT!!!

The first is a Korean movie. It's called Windstruck.

 

video source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=II20Kqoo2tk&feature=related

I've watched this show 12 times. Each and every time, I never fail to bawl my eyes out like a little baby, especially at this part. The girl was ruthlessly funny in the beginning, that when she breaks down like that, your heart just breaks for her as well.

The second is a Thai movie, entitled Hello Stranger. 

video source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAx9hBOFrTc&feature=related

This show is soon in the running against Windstruck to top my list of most-viewed movie, although it still currently ranks third or fourth (with a total of 5 views). This show was hilarious - my friend and I were rocking our chairs in the cinema. But the above has to be one of my favourite parts of the movie... I love seeing him get all riled up when he couldn't find her and then his love confession made me tear up... a lot. I especially loved the ending of the movie too.

All in all, both of these shows made me laugh and cry. And as you can probably already guess: YES, I am a sucker for these type of tear-jerkers. Which explains why the more tears a movie "jerks", the higher in my favourite movies it is listed.

Unforgettable Crying Scenes

It bothers me how 2 years after the break-up, I still find remnants of my ex-boyfriend popping up everywhere. Did he so deeply entrench himself in my life/mind during that two and a half years that even though almost as much time has passed as the amount of time we were together, a large proportion of my thoughts still revolve around him. The food I eat reminds of the food we used to eat together, the activities I do reminds me of the activities we used to do together, the words I read/hear/say reminds me of the things we used to say to each other. So many aspects of my life has become associated with him... Damn, he still creeps into the conversations I have with the people around me.

Just two days ago, my mom had brought us to eat at this Vietnamese restaurant. All the while we were there, I was going, "Jack used to order this," "Jack would have eaten this with that," "Jack used to do this-and-that when we ate Vietnamese," Look at me: I could go on forever. The thing is, Jack and me used to always eat Vietnamese when we were together. So all these memories tend to seep into my brain whenever I eat Vietnamese.

Well, then, just yesterday, I was chatting with a girlfriend of mine. We were talking about past jobs and somehow it got me started on how I had to resign from my previous job because the breakup had taken place in its duration. I had been in sales and I was out on the streets doing a roadshow one day... This was a tender time following the break up. In addition, I was still a newbie at the time - just 1 month into the job. My friend/colleague had, perhaps out of concern or perhaps for conversation's sake, asked how I was doing. She could very well have been referring to the roadshow but I had inevitably linked it to the breakup and suddenly, I was sobbing uncontrollably. The tears just starting rolling and then I just couldn't stop. My friend had to pull me aside to calm me down as well as to ensure we were hidden from our boss's view.

Talking about breaking down in public... there was one time that my family had decided to dine at a Malaysian restaurant. It's not exactly Vietnamese, but it was close enough (being an Asian restaurant and all), I suppose, to have triggered an upsurge of emotions. I had remained as quiet as a mouse because I was afraid that I'd burst into tears if I uttered any word. Unfortunately, when the orders arrived, the sight of the food set me off immediately. I was trying hopelessly to hold back my tears and suddenly I was choking because the tears just had to come out. I remember the look on my brother's face. He was positively shocked and dumbfounded to find such a reaction to food being served. My mom brought me out for a walk to avoid creating a scene in that nice little place.

I wonder if these memories will fade with time or have they etched a place in my mind, never to be erased?

 image source: Walt Disney's 1951 Classic - Alice in Wonderland

Loyalty and Betrayal

Circumstances dictate that I must soon betray a friend. As the days draw nearer to when the deed must be done, my hopeless interventions and helplessness rips me apart.

But sometimes there's more than one side...

... And you can only pick one.

Do you choose blood or water?

all image source: http://fuckyeahmodels.tumblr.com/

Crave You

A song by Flight Facilities featuring Giselle. It's called Crave You.

“Why can’t you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I stare at you
Why can’t I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you’re gone
Rehearsed steps on an empty stage
That boy’s got my heart in a silver cage
Why can’t you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I crave you

I walked into the room dripping in gold
Yeh dripping in gold
I walked into the room dripping in gold
Dripping in gold
A wave of heads did turn or so I’ve been told
Or so I’ve been told
My heart broke when I saw you kept your gaze controlled
I cannot solve

Why can’t you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I stare at you
Why can’t I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you’re gone
Rehearsed steps on an empty stage
That boy’s got my heart in a silver cage
Why can’t you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I crave you

It’s true I crave you
Crave You
It’s true I crave you

Let’s just stop and think, before I lose face
Surely I can’t fall, into a game of chase
Around his little finger, that boy has got me curled
I try to reach out, but he’s in his own world
This boy’s got my head tied, in knots with all his games
I simply want him more because he looks the other way

Why can’t you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I stare at you
Why can’t I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you’re gone
Rehearsed steps on an empty stage
That boy’s got my heart in a silver cage
Why can’t you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I crave you

I am craving you”

lyrics source: http://www.villa-rosa-di-sicilia.com/facilities/flight-facilities-crave-you-ft-giselle

First Love

image source: http://coutequecoute.blogspot.com

I suppose I can't really classify him as first love. First of all, I think I was too young at the time to understand what love is - I was only 5. Then again, there are many who are decades into their life who still do not understand the meaning of love. Well okay, I'm not proclaiming myself to be some love guru at this point in my life, but you get what I mean... So, moving on, the second point of the matter is that, well, the feeling wasn't mutual - You'll see what I mean ina bit but all in all, I think it's more apt to say that he was the first boy I liked.

I can't say exactly why I liked him. Perhaps it's too long ago to remember. Hmmm... I guess I could say I liked his confidence and energy.. kinda manly (haha! that actually sounds abit lame, because he, too, was 5. What can I say? He was my classmate in kindergarten.) I remember how the boys in my class used to like to play 'fight' and I must've thought he 'fought' particularly well... Just goes to show, even as a kid, I'd already pictured my perfect guy to be the chivalrous knight in shining armour. I must say though, in retrospect, (the vague memory of) his physical appearance surely does diverge largely from my current idea of a perfect guy (FYI, I really like shy-ish, boyish-looking guys.)

image source: http://www.apc.fr/

Now comes the crux of the story. I say, it must be the result of some form of invisible forces that were set to destroy the rest of my love life that an inexplicable impulsion came upon me to write him a card wherein its contents comprised my love confession for him.

"I love you because I think you are special and can fight very well."

Oh wait... actually some memory updates suddenly came flooding into my mind. There is actually an important prelude to this story that I must recount: I had, in fact, known that he liked another girl. Her name was Michelle. I absolutely can't recall how I got to know that he liked her... but he must've mentioned it or acted it somehow. So I had actually gotten this idea to write a card in Michelle's name, saying that I love him; in other words, he would think that the card came from her. I don't know why I came up with such an idea. Was I being altruistic and just had the pure desire of seeing his face light up with pleasure as he read the card "from Michelle"? Or did I think he would end up loving the messenger? Oh what a twisted mind I already had at the time! Unfortunately, things did not manage to become so complicated... only because I didn't know how to spell 'Michelle'!!! I still have the vivid memory of asking Michelle how to spell her name. She had refused and till now, I recall clearly what I was thinking at the time, "Why doesn't she want to tell me how to spell her name? Does she know what I'm about to do?" Nevertheless, I went home, I wrote the said card, and then spent a great deal of time pondering how I should sign off. In the end, I decided to go with my own name.

image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/robayre

The next day came, I was very nervous. But I went up to him, bearing the card which had been so nicely enclosed in an envelop with his name on it, albeit spelt very wrongly, "Lookus". (It's supposed to be Lucas, in case you couldn't tell.) And I passed it to him very nonchalently: as if it wasn't enclosed with a love confession, as if it was something I'd just picked up from the floor and realised that it was his and that I was just returning it to him.

image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/21133841@N03/

I held out the card. He looked at it with disgust and said he didn't want it and walked away.

What happened in between... I have no recollection. It must've been so traumatising that I repressed those memories, haha! The next scene I remember... the card was lying on the floor (don't ask me... I really don't know how it ended up there.) and he picked it up, opened it and read it. My heart raced, whether with joy or anticipation, I'm not sure but it was sure short-lived because next, he threw the card on the floor and reiterated, "I don't want it." I actually remember not feeling sad. Perhaps it was expected, or maybe I'd just learnt from a young age, how to repress unwanted feelings.

image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/karo_design/

Then again, this incident could very well explain why I'm so godawful at expressing my liking towards any guy I am interested in. In fact, the more I liked a guy, the more I acted like I was ignoring him. You could say I'm playing hard to get... but maybe I'm just plain scared? I'd say Freud, whom I learned about in my Psychology 101 class last year, would very well agree with me.